11 Things You Do That Break Your Dog's Heart

Nothing warms the heart like a pup's wagging tail and a slobbery kiss. Dogs bring endless joy into the lives of their humans, and every owner wants to provide their pet with the highest-quality life possible in return. But despite your best efforts, there are some things you might do that break your dog's heart.

Science has shown that dogs have a range of feelings. While they may feel happy when you return home or excited when you offer them a treat, they also experience loneliness while you're gone and empathy when you're sad. And even though you might wish you could make your pup happy 100% of the time, there are some moments when you might have to break their heart to make a decision that prioritizes their health.

Understanding what makes your dog sad is a great way to better connect with them and nurture a closer emotional bond. Armed with this knowledge, you can avoid causing your pup unnecessary distress and become more effective at communicating with them in a way that makes them more reassured. In unavoidable situations that make them uncomfortable, there's always a trick or two you can utilize to help them feel better.

While leaving your dog home alone every so often is unavoidable, it's still easy to see that it breaks their heart every time you walk out the door. Whether you're headed to work for the day or just making a quick trip to the grocery store, your pup might make their displeasure known by eyeing you forlornly as you slip on your shoes or whining and barking after you shut the door behind you. Dogs who live with separation anxiety can even exhibit destructive behaviors when left alone.

The reason being left alone bothers your dog so much typically boils down to the inability to communicate with them and let them know you'll be back soon. Not understanding if or when you'll return home can feel scary to them. One way to overcome this is by following a consistent daily routine with regular meal and walk times.

Training your dog to be left alone is another highly effective method of easing canine separation anxiety. Begin by establishing a safe space (such as their favorite dog bed) and rewarding them for sitting in it quietly. Begin to step away from the bed and then out of the room for a few moments at a time, returning to deliver a reward each time. Over the course of several training sessions, gradually extend the time and distance until your pup is comfortable being alone for long periods.

Dogs look to their humans for leadership and safety. They also rely on their people for all of their basic needs: food, water, exercise, and the ability to go outside and use the bathroom. Failing to provide proper structure in your dog's life is likely to make them feel insecure and could even cause them to experience chronic anxiety.

Good structure for dogs begins with creating and sticking to a routine. The predictability of a routine puts dogs' anxieties at ease by letting them know what to expect and eliminating the uncertainty of when they'll be able to eat or relieve themselves next. While the right routine is different for every family, it should at least consist of established mealtimes, regularly scheduled walks, and a designated bedtime.

Structure and routine are also key to helping your dog successfully navigate each phase of life. For puppies, structure bolstered by positive reinforcement is the fastest way to teach rules, potty train successfully, and establish a bond with their family. Adult dogs with a solid routine are more likely to remain well-adjusted throughout major life events like moving, job changes, and family members entering or leaving the home. As your pup ages, structure can help to put them at ease should their vision, hearing, or overall health decline in their later years.

Ignoring your dog while working from home all day is heartbreaking to them. Even though you're physically present, your pup will quickly grow frustrated if you brush off their attempts to communicate with you and neglect their needs. Nothing about watching you stare at your computer screen for hours on end can provide them with the exercise and mental stimulation they crave.

Watching you work for eight uninterrupted hours will likely cause your dog to experience boredom. Bored dogs are more prone to exhibiting unwanted behaviors like destroying furniture or personal belongings and peeing in the house. Over time, they may become depressed and lethargic.

If you're working long days from your home office, try to schedule a break to spend time with your dog at least every couple of hours. A 20-minute walk or play session is not only enriching for your pup, it's also pivotal for your own physical and mental health. Taking these breaks at regular intervals can help set expectations and keep them calm while you're trying to focus. Puzzle games are another helpful tool for your dog, as they can provide enrichment while you're busy in meetings.

Your canine might not be able to speak words, but that doesn't mean they aren't talking to you. Dogs communicate through body language that consists of subtle postures and movements, each of which carries its own meaning. If your dog wags their tail, licks their lips, or moves their ears, they're trying to tell you something – but it might not always be what you think.

Many of the assumptions humans make about canine body language aren't entirely correct. A wagging tail, for example, might indicate excitement, but it can also mean the dog is nervous. This all depends on the speed at which the tail is moving, in addition to which side it's on. According to 2007 research published in Current Biology, right-side wagging indicates a positive emotion while movement towards the left suggests a more negative one. If your dog yawns, they may actually be letting you know they feel stressed. Lip licking can be a response to a tantalizing snack or a sense of anxiety.

Learning to read your dog's body language can help you better understand how they think and feel. When entering new situations with your pup, keep a close eye on what they're doing with their eyes, ears, tongue, and tail and respond accordingly. They'll feel more confident when you respect their boundaries and protect their comfort zone.

Even though it can be frustrating when your dog wants to stop every few feet during a walk, experts urge pet parents to allow their pup at least one "sniff walk" per day. Exploring scents is mentally stimulating for dogs, whose senses of smell are somewhere between 1,000 and 10,000 times more powerful than ours. Some even compare it to the canine equivalent of checking their social media account.

Letting your dog sniff on walks is an exciting enrichment activity that can easily be worked into your daily routine. Choose one walk per day during which your pup gets to decide where you go and how long you spend stopping to explore scents. You may want to consider a long leash to give them more freedom to roam. The ideal sniff walk session is around 20 to 30 minutes long, after which they should be tired enough for a nice long nap.

Keeping your sniff walk routine consistent at the same time each day – the first one in the morning or the last one at night, for example – can help keep your pup moving during their remaining walks since they know they'll be given an opportunity to stop at another time. Sniff walks can even alleviate anxiety in canines with reactive tendencies. "If we can find a safe place where these dogs can let their guard down and explore using their noses, it can greatly reduce the amount of stress in their lives," Staci Lemke, CPDT-KA, RVT, explained to the American Kennel Club (AKC). They'll even get a nice mood-boosting dopamine hit as an added bonus.

Research has repeatedly shown that dogs are intensely empathetic creatures who easily pick up on their owners' emotions, even when they cry. A 2020 study published in the Canadian Journal of Experimental Psychology examining canine responses to laughing and crying found that dogs tended to gravitate towards the person in the room displaying sadness, even when that person was unfamiliar to them. Meanwhile, a 2014 study from Behavioural Processes measured a spike in cortisol levels when dogs heard a recording of a baby crying. The implication is that after thousands of years living in harmony with humans, dogs have gradually evolved to experience emotional contagion, an intrinsic form of cross-species empathy.

No one can help feeling sad, so don't feel guilty for crying in front of your dog. Just make sure to give them plenty of love if they do come to console you. Of course, be mindful that your reciprocation doesn't unintentionally take the form of a gesture your pup might find stress-inducing, such as a pat on the head or constricting hug. An ear scratch, belly rub, or tasty treat are all perfectly sufficient ways to say "I love you, too" in dog language.

Faking throwing a ball or dangling treats and toys might feel like a game to you, but it can be upsetting for your dog. In a 2021 study from Scientific Reports, researchers found that canines are able to tell the difference between a human intentionally keeping a treat from them and accidentally dropping one, concluding that they understand when they're being teased. And their responses showed they might not be too happy about it; pups who were teased often froze and stopped wagging their tails, both of which can be signs your dog is stressed.

Additional evidence suggests dogs feel negatively towards people who tease them, at least in the moment. A second study tested dogs' preferences between humans who both intentionally and unintentionally kept treats away from them. The pups appeared to feel more negatively towards those who teased them, though they did not retain this bias in later interactions with the same people.

Be mindful to avoid teasing your pup during playtime by not fake throwing or withholding toys. You may need to teach and remind younger children why these behaviors aren't okay. Staying away from teasing will allow your dog to feel more trust towards family members and pave the way for deeper bonds to form.

Have you ever felt like your dog understands everything you tell them? You're not alone, and you might not be entirely wrong – but it's not the words coming out of your mouth that they're picking up on. Since dogs can't speak, they're more in tune to nonverbal communication, which is comprised of aspects like body posture, facial expression, and voice tone. Most of the time, your dog is actually deciphering your message by interpreting barely perceptible gestures that you might not even be aware of.

With this in mind, it would be silly to rattle off a string of words and expect your dog to understand what you're saying. According to canine MRI results shared in Science, your words could even be nearly inconsequential in comparison to the tone of voice you use when saying them. Telling them they're a "good dog" or offering them a treat in a neutral tone isn't nearly as rewarding as giving them praise with a more positive tone. Likewise, shouting commands while speaking in an angry voice is likely to make them confused and upset.

Every game of fetch has to come to an end – even if your dog doesn't want it to. While fetch can be a fun way to spend time with your dog and get them some much-needed exercise, a few pups are so obsessed with chasing the ball that they'll keep going to the point of exhaustion. Overexertion is dangerous for your pet's health and puts them at risk of heatstroke and dehydration. This is why it's important to stop games of fetch at an appropriate time, even if it breaks your dog's heart.

A bit of clever training can make this easier for both you and your pup. Each time you decide to finish a game of fetch, give a command such as "all done!" to let them know the game is over. Be firm about not continuing to throw the ball past this point no matter how much your dog begs you to. After a few repetitions, they'll associate this command with the end of the game and learn that it's time to move on.

Another tip to keep fetch-obsessed dogs in check is by only playing the game during one designated time in their daily routine. For example, you might reward your pup with ten minutes of fetch as soon as you return home from work and focus exclusively on other activities for the rest of the day. This may alleviate anxiety by reassuring them that their next game will come soon.

Socializing your dog is an essential part of their development. Puppies who receive proper socialization are healthier, more confident, and less anxious than those who don't get exposure to other dogs and people. However, it is also possible to do more harm than good by oversocializing them.

Too much or the wrong type of social time can easily overstimulate your dog and make them stressed. This is especially true of young puppies and dogs without much previous social training. When first starting out, take things slow with one-on-one interactions in calm environments. Gradually expand your dog's exposure to new people, places, and experiences only when they seem ready. Be sure to positively reinforce each socialization session with praise and rewards.

Whether your pup is meeting their first friend or a regular at the dog park, it's important to constantly keep evaluating their body language for signs of overstimulation. Learn to read their behavioral cues and remove them from social situations they clearly aren't enjoying. Forcing them to stay in situations they find uncomfortable could cause them to become aversive and reactive.

Given that dogs have extremely sensitive hearing, it makes sense that thunderstorms are one of their most common fears. Dealing with thunderstorm anxiety can be frustrating; dogs with particularly strong phobias have been known to destroy entire rooms and cause expensive damage. Unfortunately, there's no easy way to tell your pup they aren't in any danger and have no reason to be afraid.

Many dog owners resort to locking their pets in their crates during a thunderstorm in order to prevent them from acting out as a result of their anxiety. However, this isn't a great idea for several reasons. Dogs hate feeling trapped; being stuck in a small space with no way out might only serve to multiply their terror. Giving them access to their crate as a safe space is perfectly fine as long as the door is left open to give them the freedom to leave. Forcing them to stay in their crate while feeling traumatized may cause them to associate negative feelings toward it and resist going into it at all.

There are many effective alternatives to help your dog ride out a scary storm. Soft music or a white noise machine can help dampen the loud thunderclaps coming from outside. Their favorite treat or bone may also provide a welcome distraction. Some owners swear by anxiety vests to keep their pups calm during thunderstorms and other anxiety-inducing situations. Most importantly, simply being present in the room is the best reassurance you can give to let them know everything will be okay.