Gifting Someone A Pet? Here's Why It's A Terrible Idea

Whether it's for Christmas, a birthday, or another special day, buying a gift for someone can be challenging. You might not be sure what the person will genuinely enjoy or even what their interests are. Some people compensate for the uncertainty by buying multiple small items or one over-the-top, unorthodox, or expensive gift, like a pet. While gifting a pet may seem like a good idea, it can be an unwise decision because it might contradict the recipient's preferences, or they may not be ready for the new addition to their family. Plus, giving someone a pet could send the wrong message about the expected commitment of pet ownership (but more on that later).

We've all seen the heartwarming videos and television show or movie scenes of someone opening a box to find an adorable puppy or kitten. The surprise often triggers contagious tears of joy for the grateful recipient. Witnessing these moments likely leads other gift-buyers to assume they'll be able to replicate this experience by gifting a pet to someone.

Although some pets that start out as gifts do successfully become loved, permanent members of their families, others do not. Even if the person has been raving about having a new pet, sometimes surprisingly receiving one awakens the person's true feelings about pet ownership. This is why it's best to avoid gifting someone a pet altogether — unless, of course, the recipient is involved in the decision.

For many people, one of the joys of being a pet parent is the experience of searching for and hand-picking their animal. It might start with seeing a photo of the animal online or in real life at a shelter. Then, it continues with interacting and bonding with the pet, leading to it being "chosen." The final step is bringing the pet home. Unless you choose an animal that the recipient has already fallen in love with, you'd be robbing them of this experience by gifting them a surprise pet.

Another factor to consider is that the recipient may have a strong desire to personally rescue a pet, even if it means waiting months or years for the opportunity. It's one thing to adopt a pet from a shelter, but it's another to encounter a pet in need and literally save its life. The latter often results in a very meaningful relationship between the rescuer and the rescued.

Of course, nobody wants a pet to end up in a situation from which they need saving, and in many cases, these pets require extensive veterinary care and lots of love and patience. However, some individuals have hearts specifically for these types of pets. They prefer rescued pets over ones that have only known kindness, warmth, and safety. Your recipient might be one of these individuals.

Being a pet parent involves so much more than just sharing your space with an animal, but not everyone is ready for these responsibilities. Pet ownership calls for various tangible purchases, as well as regular trips to the veterinarian for checkups. Having a pet may also require separate trips for dental cleanings and emergencies. It also demands giving the pet opportunities for physical and mental stimulation. Your loved one may not be able to provide all of this to a pet for one reason or another.

Pets can easily cost hundreds of dollars each year when you factor in annual wellness exams, food, vaccinations, supplies, treats, and more. Sometimes, there can be hidden costs of caring for a pet as well, such as medication or supplements. Your loved one may not be able to afford all of these expenses, or maybe they can but don't want to include a pet in their budget just yet.

Physical and emotional preparedness are also crucial. The giftee may not be in an ideal physical position to manage a pet — for example, walking it if the pet is a dog. Their schedule may also prevent them from physically giving the pet the care it needs. Or, they may not be emotionally prepared for a pet. For example, if they recently had a pet cross the Rainbow Bridge, they might want to grieve and process their emotions before committing to a new pet.

Gifting a pet can be a bad idea in general, but gifting a specific breed or species without being certain that the giftee even likes it is far worse. Imagine living your entire life with only small dogs that weigh under 10 pounds, and someone surprises you with a 20-pound Maine coon for Christmas. You might be left feeling completely clueless and unequipped. Don't put someone in that position.

Even if you're certain that your loved one wants a specific pet based on what they told you once, there's always the possibility that they changed their mind the next day without telling you. They may think for months that they want a husky after watching dozens of cute videos on social media, but learning about their excessive shedding could immediately cause them to switch gears.

Another possibility is that your friend or relative may initially be happy with the pet only to change their mind about the species or breed after a couple of days or weeks. For example, some people spend their childhood with a certain type of animal without having to do much to care for it, so as adults, they choose the same animal. Then, they quickly realize that the care requires more time, effort, and money than they were prepared to give. This could put them — or you — in the difficult position of having to find a new home for the pet.

Perhaps your best friend lost their beloved pet, and you want to help them heal by surprising them with a new one the following day. While it's a thoughtful gesture, you could inadvertently be disregarding their age preferences for their next pet — preferences they never shared with you. They might want a puppy or a kitten, not an older pet. Or, they may want a calm, quiet senior dog that just wants to live its best life by sleeping most of the day instead of a rambunctious, playful puppy. Never assume you know what they want based on what they've had.

Gender preferences also need to be considered when choosing a pet. Some people prefer male pets for certain reasons, while others would rather have female pets, but both genders come with some pros and cons. The giftee may have had male cats only, leaving you to conclude that surprising them with another male would be canny, but what if they failed to tell you they want their next cat to be female?

Stay on the side of caution. Instead of surprising your loved one with a pet they may not want, include them in the process. You can still be the one to pay for the pet, but make sure your loved one is 100% on board with the decision. That way, they'll have the opportunity to choose the age and gender they want.

With more traditional gifts like jewelry, clothing, or cookware, you have the option to return, exchange, or regift the item if you don't like it. You could also toss or donate the item before or after using it. All of these decisions are fairly common for inanimate gifts, but if the gift is an animal, these options shouldn't exist. However, it's possible that the recipient may think of the pet in the same way they think of other gifts, especially if they're young.

Pets should never be thought of as objects that can be easily returned, exchanged, regifted, or discarded. Even if the pet is difficult to train or seems a bit too energetic in their youth, they should be seen as a commitment, one that could last 20 years or more. Of course, there are always exceptions and reasons that someone may have to surrender a pet, but it should be a last resort.

Some individuals view pet ownership much differently if they acquire the pet themselves or if they're included in the selection process as opposed to receiving it as a gift. The recipient might even hold you partially responsible, physically and financially, for the pet's needs throughout their life, which you might not want, so it's best to avoid gifting someone a pet to begin with.